Cathay Pacific Upgrade Experience

January 29th, 2010

A couple of days before my scheduled return flight from Chennai to SF I was thinking about the wonderfully uncomfortable economy seat and decided that it would probably be worth it to pay a fee and upgrade to business. This was on a Friday night (flight was on Sat night) and the Cathay Pacific office in Chennai was already closed so I went to their website to see if I could upgrade online. After spending some 20 minutes looking through their website I had to admit defeat and decide to instead give their office a call on Saturday morning to see if I could do the upgrade over the phone instead.

So on Saturday morning I give the Cathay Office a call and ask them how much they would charge to upgrade me. The woman on the phone takes my ticket number and a couple of minutes later comes back saying that is not possible to upgrade me. When I ask why she says that while there was room on the flight, tickets that have been booked via the SFO office can only be upgraded from SF. At which point I incredulously asked her if she understood that I actually wanted to give the airline some extra money for a flight that I was going to be taking anway. By giving them the $$$ I would get a little more comfort and they would get some more money for transporting the exact same person on the same route. While she did understand my point she claimed that the rules were iron clad and that there was no way to actually upggrade without getting approval from SFO which would take at least 2 business days. In the end I just had to give up and put the phone down – no point talking to someone if the rules prevented her from taking my money.

So on Saturday night I finally get on the plane and midway through the Chennai-Hon Kong flight the stewardess comes over to me and says that I have to talk to the ground staff after we land. Apparently there was room on an earlier flight from HK to SFO anf they were moving everyone to this flight (and saving ppl 3 hours off the stopover). Eventually after we land the ground staff collect the 200 odd folks who were moving the the earlier flight and escort us over to the ticketing area to get a new boarding pass. Since I was getting a new boarding pass I decided to once again ask if I could be upgraded. This time the ticketing agent says that while it is possible I would have to pay for upgrading all 4 flights (SFO-HK, HK-MAA, MAA-HK and HF-SFO) even though 3 of the legs were already complete. I ask her how much this would be and she quotes me $4400 to upgrade. This is at a time when I could have purchased a brand new one way MAA-SFO business class flight for just over $2000. Cursing the dumbass airline rules I say I’ll just stick with economy at which point she informs me that all the window and aisle seats are already full and I’ll have to be content with a middle seat. Now at 6ft 1 inches tall I cant really fit in a middle seat so I ask if it would be possible to get an exit row seat. She says that there is a $100 charge for exit row seat which I gladly agree to pay to get some additional leg room. I pull out a crisp new $100 bill from my wallet (long story but I did not have my credit cards with me) to pay for he upgrade when the ticket agent tells me that they cannot accept $100 dollar bills and that $50 is the largest US bill they will accept. Quite annoyed by this new wrinkle I ask for the way to the nearest money changer so I can convert the $100 bill to either smaller USD for to equivalent HK$ when she tells me that all the money changers are behind the security wall and I cannot get to them without a boarding pass and I wont get the boarding pass till I pas the upgrade fee. Incredibly for the second time in 24 hours I had come up to a situation where I had money that I was willing to give to the airline for more comfort but the airline was refusing to take my money!!!! Despite all my pleading there was no way around this new wrinkle and in the end I had to accept a boarding pass for a middle seat. The ticketing agent did take pity on me and said that she would make a note in the system so that her colleagues at the boarding gate could change me to window or aisle seat if they found a vacancy.

When I did go to board the airline the stewardess there stopped me and gave me a new boarding pass for a window seat. I was pleasantly surprised by this change and was absolutely blown away when I get to the seat and find that it was actually a window exit roaw seat. After twice pleading with the airline to take my money for an upgrade I ended up getting upgraded to a more comfortable seat on an earlier flight for free. While I can complain about the upgrade I can only hope that Cathay Pacific realizes that occasionally you will have passengers who are willing to pay for upgrades and they need to make it easy for them to get those upgrades. It is absolutely ridiculous to refuse to upgrade a person because they bought their ticket from a different office or are paying with $100 bills. By upgrading they get some extra money for zero additional fuel spend while the customer gets a more comfortable seat to travel in. By refusing to take my money on an empty flight you just irritated me for no reason and made it very unlikely that I will ever fly Cathay again.

  • Share/Bookmark

Officially a Lemons Legend

December 19th, 2009

Pink Pig at ButtonWillow
Photo by karamia29

Judge Murilee over on Jalopnik just posted a list of his LeMons Legends for 2009 and the Pink Pig was on his list. This is what he had to say about us:

Formula BMW, BMW 325e
An E30 becomes a LeMons Legend? In this case, you’re looking at one of the all-time legendary LeMons cars. Notice how every body panel seems to have been hit hard, repeatedly? That’s because this car is a veteran of the early races at Altamont, including the notorious “Demolition Derby” race of October ‘07 and the not-much-less-brutal May ‘08 race. With seven LeMons races to its credit, the Formula BMW E30 has finished 44th, 44th, 20th, 10th, 5th, 10th, and 6th during its career… and been hit approximately 8,000 times (7,997 of those at Altamont).

While I love the write-up, I do have to point out that we actually finished 44th, 44th, 19th, 10th, 5th (class win), 10th, and 5th. :) Our average finishing position for the 2009 races was 6.67

  • Share/Bookmark

How to disable the MacBook two-finger pinch-zoom in Firefox

December 16th, 2009

I recently switched to a new unibody Macbook Pro and while I love the keyboard and the battery life I have had major issues with the multitouch keypad. My usual method for using the trackpad on the old Macbook was to rest my thumb on the button while using my index finger to move the cursor. On the new buttonless Macbook the computer keeps interpreting that as a two-finger pinc zoom and as a result I keep resizing my brower text every 15 minutes or so. Unfortunately Apple in its infinite Jobs-ian wisdom has decided that no one will ever want to live without this feature which means that there is no official way to turn it off from within system preferences. So after a bunch of searching though various forums I’ve stumbled across this method to disable the two finger pinch zoom feature within Firefox. This will require changing the firefox config file to use at your own risk:

1) Open Firefox
2) Type in “about:config” in the address bar and hit enter
3) Hit the “I’ll be careful, I promise!” button to get into the actual config
4) Type “gesture” in the “filter” field. This should give you a list of all the supported gestural interactions
5) Double-click on “browser.gesture.pinch.in” and delete the value in the text box that pops up.
6) Repeat for “browser.gesture.pinch.out”
7) Close the tab and you no longer have to deal with inadvertant pinch-zooms in Firefox

This will only affect html pages within firefox. Other mac applications will still have the pinch-zoom feature as will PDF files you open within Firefox using the PDF plugin.

  • Share/Bookmark

The physical demands of Lemons racing

October 12th, 2009

Fatigue – that’s a word you hear being thrown about a lot at endurance racing events. We know that as drivers do long stints behind the wheel, fatigue starts setting in and the lap times start to drop steadily. But the $64,000 question is how long can a driver stay out on track without compromising the performance of his/her car or the safety of the other competitors. People keep throwing around the statistic of F1 drivers having an average heart rate of 170 bpm for the 90 odd minute duration of the race. That data might be useful for a young fit F1 driver who spends the entire duration of the race on the ragged edge, but is not very relevant to the average Lemons driver who is generally older, considerably less fit, often drives longer stints and (speaking for myself) is generally well under the limit?

In order to learn more about the physical demands of Lemons racing, I decided to wear a heart rate monitor during my driving stints behind the wheel of our #23 Pink Pig E30 at the 24 Hours of Lemons race at Buttonwillow this past August. Our friends at Chasecam lent us a PDR100 video kit and copy of their Dashware software that allowed me to sync my heartrate to both the video stream and the in-car telemetry collected using my Race Technologies DL1 data logger. The following is a summary of what I learned with some things being as expected and some things decidedly unexpected.

Current Fitness Level
I’ll start by giving a quick baseline values for my current fitness levels. I have a resting heart rate of just under 50 bpm and I run between 10-20 miles a week which puts me in the above average range of physical fitness. Click here to see an example heart rate trace from my last long run (outdoors, 85 F, 8.5 miles in 84 min, avg heart rate of 164 bpm).

Additionally since Buttonwillow in August is brutally hot (temps of 110 F are quite common) I did hot weather training (outdoor 10k twice a week at 2 in the afternoon) for a couple of months to help prepare for the heat stress. The temperatures during the race ended up being about 100F and I did wear a Cool Shirt which I used intermittently for the first hour and then continuously after that.

Data summary
stint 1 raw
The graph above shows my heart rate during a 2 hour 50 minute recording window. My average heart rate during this entire period was 120 beats/minute with a maximum of 165 bpm. As you can see there are several distinct segments where my heart rate varied significantly from the average. By syncing the heart rate data to the video I was able to find that each segment points to a specific event during the race.

Specific instances
stint 1 start
Looking at the first 25 minutes of the data you can see that my heart rate initially hovers around the 90 bpm mark. At this time I was lined up in the pitlane and waiting for the cars to slowly get released onto the track. The small spike at the 4 minute mark happens exactly as I get out of the pits and onto the racing service. I should add that I had never driven a single lap of Buttonwillow before (mechanical issues on Friday) and was very nervous about going blind onto a new track. As I start doing the yellow flag laps you can see that my heart rate starts dropping again and stays that way for the next 7-8 minutes as I slowly learn my way around the track. The next spike you see is at the 12 minute mark and is shown in this short video below which has my heart rate in the top left corner.


As luck would have it the car right behind me was given the green flag which meant that I had zero warning of the race start. As the cars behind start passing me on the straight my heart rate starts rising from the low 90s and hits 129 bpm in the middle of turn 2.

stint 1 2nd half
The graph above shows the last 90 minutes of my stint. There is a gradual drop-off in my heart rate starting at about the 1:21 mark. This corresponds to a long full course yellow out on the track. The heart rate initially does not drop by much as I am staying close to car in front so that I can pass it at the next green flag, but as I drive further along the course I realize its a full course yellow and start relaxing which drop my heart rate to just over a 100. You can see another example of it in the video below which shows a yellow flag segment from my second stint on day 1.

The second dip you see towards the end of my day 1 stint happens when our car breaks down on the exit of turn 1 and I pull off the course and stop. While I’m initially quite agitated as I try to restart the car, I quickly realize that the car is dead and my heart rate starts dropping to the 100 bpm mark. About 5 minutes later the tow truck pulls up to the car and tows me back to the pits. Once I get there my heart rate once again starts rising and goes well past the 150 mark as I get out of the car to try and help fix the problem. It goes back down to the 140 mark as the problem is found and fixed but then rises to a peak of 165 as I am refueling the car (a 40 pound fuel can on your shoulder will do that).

As I went through the data, the most surprising fact for me was that the heart rate does not seem to have much correlation to the speed, g-force, laptime, etc… In fact it seems more psychological than it is physical. While there are some small changes over a lap, there are no significant bumps going through particular turns or even when passing individual cars. Instead the most pronounced changes in heart rate happen when you come up on a large group of cars and are unsure of how to pass them. The following video is a great example of this. Initially my heart rate is in the 115-120 bpm range as I go through the sweeper by myself. As I catch up to a group of five cars it rapidly rises and peaks at 144 bpm as I pass the last car. As soon as I pass them it starts dropping quickly and levels back down at the 120-125 bpm range.

For comparison here is a clean air lap where it drops as low as 97 bpm with a temporary spike at 131 bpm but spends the majority of the lap between 115 and 125 bpm

Summary
My stint in this case was for 2.5 hours in 100 degree weather and I could probably have driven for another hour. One thing to note is that I have plenty of experience driving on track (karting enduro, HPDE, Lemons) and can tell when my performance level goes down. If you are not familiar with driving on track and/or are driving at 10/10ths you will get mentally drained well before you get physically fatigued. If you dont take car to monitor your concentration you will start making more and more mistakes. The optimal stint length can and will vary dramatically even for the same person depending on their mental and physical state – I did a 4+ hour stint at Lemons Thunderhill 07 with no problems but when I drove a Spec Miata there I was wiped out in just 45 minutes.

In summary I can say that while Lemons is indeed quite strenuous, the mental aspect is more taxing than the physical. If you are used to good cardio workouts and can monitor your own concentration levels, it is possible to safely to do long stints. All this of course only applies to me and the way I drive – your mileage WILL vary and I make no statements about your driving abilities

Bonus video
And finally as bonus here is a 15 minute battle I had with the Itallion stallions Fiat X1/9. It starts off with them passing me on the run up to the hill and I then spend the next 15 minutes trying to get the position back. I’ve speeded up the sections where I am trying to catch up to them while the close quarters action is at regular speeds. Total run time is a little over 10 minutes. My favourite section is at the 6:20 mark where I pull alongside on the exit of the bus stop and we go side-by-side for 3 corners till I finally have to give up because they have the inside line over the hill. In case you are wondering they have modified the X1/9 to run motorcycle carbs which is why they were able to stay ahead on the straight. Plus this is within the first 10-12 laps on track so I’m still not very familiar with the track which I hope excuses the bad driving :-)

  • Share/Bookmark

Health benefits of Autocrossing

July 20th, 2009

At the last GGLC autocross Alex and I decided to try out a little experiment to see how your heart rate changes during the race. We used a Polar S720i to record his heart rate, an iPhone for video and a DL1 data logger to record G-force and speed readings. I used some simple PHP magic to sync the two data files together and used the Chasecam Dashware system to create this finished video.

You can see the speed, heart rate (BPM), longitudinal G (acceleration + braking) and lateral G in the dashboard on the top of the video. His average heart rate was in the low nineties while on the grid and rises to to 101 just before the start of the run. As the run progresses you can see it quickly rise all the way to 145 bpm by the end of the 45 second run. Just as interesting is the way his heart rate falls as soon as the run ends and drops to the low 130s just 10 seconds after the run. So now if anyone asks you why you autocross just say its for the health benefits ;-)

Unfortunately the video quality is not as perfect and the heart rate only updates every 5 seconds but all in all it was a successful test of the system. I have already ordered a Polar RS800CX (1 sec resolution) and I plan to run this same setup for the duration of the Lemons race at Buttonwillow next month. So stay tuned for the health benefits of endurance racing :-D

This post has been cross posted on the GGLC blog.

  • Share/Bookmark

Map of The Best Thing I Ever Ate locations

July 19th, 2009

Sticking with the map mashup theme of the last month, I’d like to unveil a new mashup map of all the restaurants featured in Food Networks new show “The Best Thing I Ever Ate“. The official blurb is as follows:

Ever wonder what the biggest food stars and chefs eat in their free time – when they’re paying? Find out on The Best Thing I Ever Ate! It’s the ultimate guide to the country’s most amazing meals, eats, and treats as told by the pros who spend their lives obsessing over food.

Since a good number of these restaurants are in the Bay Area I decided to make the following map of all their restaurants that will keep updating it as the show progresses. Click here to view the map in a full screen view along with a list of all the restaurants and their dishes. This should help all you foodies out there plan your trips accordingly – personally I think I’m going to start with the ones in the Bacon episode :-D


View Larger Map

You can also check out my maps of Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives and Throwdown with Bobby Flay

Update (21-July-2009): I got a call from David Hoffman who produces the show thanking me for making this mashup and they have now posted it on the official The Best Thing I Ever Ate blog. :D

  • Share/Bookmark

Map of Throwdown with Bobby Flay competitors

June 24th, 2009

One of my favourite food network shows is Throwdown with Bobby Flay where he goes around challenging various chefs to a cook-off with their signature dish. Seeing the show really makes me want to go and try out some of the dishes but unfortunately there is no single list of all the restaurants and their locations. Seeing that my last mashup map of the Dinners, Drive-Ins and Dives locations is the most popular page on my blog, I decided to put together a new mashup with the locations of all the Throwdown restaurants.

The map includes the name, address, phone number and URL of each restaurant along with the name of the chef, dish, winner and a link to the episode page on food network (contains recipes, etc…). It only includes proper restaurants and/or home delivery services and does NOT include the one-off challenges with local residents. Restaurant that have multiple locations are only mapped once and their URL will point to a list of their locations. As always this is purely a mashup and has no guarantees – use at your own risk.


View Larger Map

You can also view a larger map (with list) or use this link for a Google Earth version. Also I spent a lot of time converting the data into machine readable CSV – if any other hackers out there would like to play with the data just leave a comment and I’ll be happy to send you the data.

  • Share/Bookmark

The Pink Pig returns

June 5th, 2009

Pink Pig at Reno

Running its first competitive race after 28 years, the Porsche 917/20 “Pink Pig” made a triumphant return to endurance racing at the Reno event of 24 Hours of Lemons vintage racing series. A lack of power at altitude combined with niggling fuel and wheels meant that the car could not compete on outright pace and instead had to depend on strategy to make its way up the field. Ultimately the Formula BMW team fell just short and had to settle for a class win and 5th overall instead of the overall victory they were aiming for.

Class win at Lemons Reno

The Formula BMW team has since been working hard on upgrading the car and fixing the fuel issues. With the next race being run at sea level, the turbo cars will no longer have an advantage and Pink Pig will finally be able to compete on raw pace as well as race strategy. All race fans are invited to come out and support the Formula BMW team and the “Pink Pig” as they go for an overall win at the Buttonwillow event of the 24 Hours of LeMons racing series.

Click here to read more about the history of Team Formula BMW at the LeMons racing series.

  • Share/Bookmark

Goin’ For A Win – recap of Lemons Reno 2009

May 29th, 2009

Pink Pig E30

The Goin’ For Broken race at Reno Fernley raceway was the 5th 24 Hours of LeMons race for the Formula BMW team and the debut of our new Pink Pig race livery. Additionally the car was quite a bit lighter than the last race with the sunroof, dash, heater core and inner door skins being removed. We cracked our windshield during the dash removal which we replaced with a sheet of lexan to further drop weight. We were going with our regular driver lineup of Guy Argo, Gabriel Matus. Rob Dietsch and myself. Since the racedays were of unequal length (8.5 hours Saturday, 5 hours Sunday), our plan was to have Guy, Rob and myself run a single 3 – 3.5 hour stint with Gabe splitting his stint between the two days. The long stints would minimize our driver changes and would allow us to pass people in the pits and finish higher than the 10th place we recorded at Thunderhill 08.

Emergency Wheel Spacing

I was driving the first stint for our team and got off to an inauspicious start when I had to pull in to the pits just before the green flag (Lemons has a rolling start) because of a loud noise and vibration from the right front on right hand turns. It turned out that our new wheels were rubbing against the right front strut while at speed. We had test fitted the new wheel on the left front tire where it fit with no issues but we had forgotten that we had bent our struts for extra camber at Altamont 07 which meant that while they fit fine on the left there was rubbing on the right which was aggravated on right hand turns. Luckily we were able to borrow a wheel spacer (Thanks Squirrels of Fury!) but by the time we put that on we were already 2 laps down on the leader without having driven a single lap. :-(

When I first went out under green my immediate impression was that we were waaaay faster than most of the cars out there and was passing several cars at each turn. This was probably down to my familiarity with the track and the car because after about 5-10 laps the cars became more difficult to pass as the other drivers became more comfortable with the track. About an hour into the race I noticed that the fuel gauge on the car was still registering full despite having plenty of hard racing laps in that time. This meant that our gauge was broken and we would have to time our pitstops based on fuel starvation. At about the 2 hour mark the car started fuel-starving on the fast right of turn 14 but was still doing pretty well elsewhere on track. We decided to keep going as long as we could and/or to wait for the next yellow. I kept driving the car in higher gears to help with the fuel economy but after about 5-6 laps the fuel starvation was getting bad enough that we were sputtering on the straights after right handers and i brought the car in for a green flag fuel and driver stop. It was about the 2.5 hour mark when I came in and despite the fact that my long stint had put us back on the lead lap (9th overall), we were still well short of the 3+ hour stint we were originally planning on. The good part was that we knew that we could use the right hand turn fuel starvation as a gas gauge to decide when to time our next pit stop.

Pink Pig at Reno
Photo by Jeff Balliet/ASK photography

Guy drove the next stint and kept in touch with the leaders. At this point we knew that we were in the top ten and were basically trying to put in reasonable laps without doing anything crazy. Guy drove for about 3.5 hours before the fuel starvation became bad enough that we were forced to do another green flag stop. At this point we were 4th overall and just 5 laps behind the race leader despite having the slowest “fastest lap” of any car in the top 15. Gabe got into the car with about 2.5 hours left in the day and was putting in some excellent lap times when he had an unfortunate spin at turn 15 which brought us in for a black flag penalty. Since we had been good racers for most of the day (and bribed the judges with some excellent Guatemalan rum ;-) ) we were let off with a driver change penalty which put me in back in the driver seat for the final 10 laps of the day.

At this point the traffic had thinned considerably and I was able to able to drop my fastest lap down from a 2:51.844 to a 2:46.177. Right about this time the #72 E30 of the B-Team (who I knew from Lotus Talk) pulled up right behind me and tried to get past. I knew that I wasn’t racing them for position so I did not try to block, but I certainly wasn’t going to move aside and let them past either. They tried a few different attempts at getting past but I hung onto the inside line and was able to stay in front. About 5 laps into the battle they came right alongside me on the front straight which led to the action you see in the image below.

reno-animated-small
Source photos from Jeff M/The B-Team. Animation by Rahul Nair.

This moment started as we were coming onto the main straight when I got a bad run into the corner while the B-Team got a great slingshot out and pulled alongside me down the straight. This had happened a couple of times before but since I always held the inside line into the esses they had had to lift in the end and tuck in line behind me. On this particular lap the #26 Team Carpet Pissers CRX was pulling out of the pits and made it into the first bend of the esses right just before the two of us. Normally I would have tucked in line behind the CRX and passed them going into turn 2 but on this lap I spotted an opening and decided to pass them between the 2nd and 3rd esses expecting that the B-Team would get boxed in behind them which would give me some more breathing room. As luck would have it the B-Team driver decided to do the exact same thing on the outside and suddenly we were three wide through the turn at about 95mph. I was up on the rumble strip on the left while the B-Team was on 2 wheels in the gravel on the right. At this point the driver in the CRX sees the B-Team on his right (and I suppose didnt see me on his left) and jinks left to avoid them. The front bumper of his car hits my right front wheel and leaves a black line down both doors. The impacts pushes my car to the left but I am able to maintain control while the CRX unfortunately spins out. Amazingly both B-Team and I are still side by side entering turn 2 and I am able to get ahead under braking. While it looked (and was) pretty exciting it was still a dumb move on my part especially since we were not racing for position and the next day both B-Team and I went up to the driver of the CRX and apologized for putting him in a difficult spot.

At the end of day one we had completed 129 laps and we in 4th place overall, 6 laps behind the Eyesore Racing FrankenMiata. We were still the second slowest fast lap in the top 10 but we used our long stints to make up for our wheel issues at the start as well as 3 green flag pit stops. Now we just had to keep on doing more of the same for day 2 and hope that the leaders would trip-up enough for us to pass them in the pits.

Day 2 started with Gabe driving the car. It was obvious from the lap times that we had no chance on catching the FrankenMiata with speed alone. They were pulling away from us at 10 seconds a lap when they suddelny spun and stalled on course on lap 5. As they were being towed in we began to push like hell to make up laps and we got back 4 of the 6 laps before they got out on course again. Gabe kept putting in consistent laps but the FrankenMiata was back on pace and was consistant pulling out 8 seconds or so per lap. Both teams came in for a driver swap just a lap apart which kept us 3 laps behind with 3 hours to go. Rob put in some stellar laptimes including our fastest race lap of a 2:42.809 but in the end it just was not enough to catch the FrankenMiata.

Class win at Lemons Reno

We ended finishing first in class and 5th overall just 4 laps behind the FrankenMiata which hung on to win the race. We did get a nice trophy to stick on the mantel place but I personally am still annoyed at some of the mistakes we made which cost us a possible win. The good part is that we know what to fix and we know what we need to do at Buttonwillow in 3 months. We wont rest till we get some nickels (Lemons cash prizes are awarded in nickels :-) )

  • Share/Bookmark

Lemons Penalties 101

April 7th, 2009

Guest Judge
As I mentioned in my last post, I spent most of the Lemons South Spring race as a guest judge. This meant that I not only got to decide and hand out penalties, but I also had a chance to document them. So now for your viewing pleasure, I present my guide to the penalties from Lemons South Spring 2009

Studs and Spurs
While in Texas, the Judges found a calendar that Lemons drivers love to emulate. Judge Jonny will lead you through a mock photoshoot in your pink cowboy hat

Studs and Spurs penalty – 24 Hours of Lemons from rnair on Vimeo.

Marcel Marceau “Mime Your Crime”
Offending driver must put on a French striped sailor shirt, a beret and paint his/her face white. Then the driver must mime their stint in the car – starting with putting on the helmet and gloves, driving around the track, the incident causing the black flag, the drive to the pits and the spin of the wheel.

Marcel Marceau “Mime your Crime” penalty – 24 Hours of Lemons from rnair on Vimeo.

Taiwanese National Anthem
This penalty was dreamed up by Judge Phil and qualifies as truly cruel and unusual punishment. While he explains it best in his post, the short version is that the team must wire a six tone car alarm into their car and the alarm must play constantly until the car comes off the track. As an added bonus the team must warn competitors of their bad driving by attaching a Taiwanese flag to their car. My thanks to the #56 Blind Rodent Racing team for demonstrating this penalty so that future lemons racers can understand just what fate awaits them.

Taiwanese National Anthem penalty – 24 Hours of Lemons from rnair on Vimeo.

Follow the Leader
This was an impromptu punishment dreamed up by Judge Lieberman when a seven car incident filled up the judging area with multiple miscreants. Rather than dealing an individual punishment to each team, all the drivers from each team were required to line up behind the Judgemobile and follow in single file while they took a slow lap of the paddock. They then had to warn other teams of their behaviour by shouting “We’re bad drivers!” every time the Judges honked the horn.

Follow the Leader penalty – 24 Hours of Lemons from rnair on Vimeo.

Butter and Moonshine
One thing the judges can always be counted on to do is to come up with creative punishments using locally available materials. In this case they pour liquid butter into the crankcase of the car followed by adding some local moonshine into the gas tank. This was particularly ironic since the team in question was the one that bribed the judges with the moonshine in the first place.

Butter penalty – 24 Hours of Lemons from rnair on Vimeo.

Moonshine penalty – 24 Hours of Lemons from rnair on Vimeo.

Three Legged Race

Three-legged race penalty – 24 Hours of Lemons from rnair on Vimeo.

This is a special penalty for the cars that are involved in metal to metal contact. Both cars are black flagged and since the drivers obviously like each other they are tied together for a three legged race around the paddock. The best part of this penalty is that it can be applied to any arbitrary number of drivers. In the video below we have 4 drivers from the same team taking a 5 legged lap of the paddock.


Three-legged race team penalty – 24 Hours of Lemons from rnair on Vimeo.

Bobby Bosch Relay Race
Bobby Bosch Relay Race
Another diabolical creation from the twisted mind of Judge Phil, the Bobby Bosch Relay Race is an E30 special penalty where the teams are handed a bag of Bosch relays of which one has been tampered with. They then have to go figure out which relay is the defective one before they are allowed to rejoin the race. And in case you were wondering you can tell by any external marks since Judge Phil opened the casings on all 10.
Bobby Bosch Relay Race

Preaching to the converted
Driver must stand on the hood or roof of his car and read “Pinto with a Pedigree” and the following chapter “Rescuing a Red Farmer Rust Bucket” from Tom Cotter’s book The Hemi in the Barn alound to his team, gathered around the car.

Preaching to the Converted penalty – 24 Hours of Lemons from rnair on Vimeo.

Paint your whip with Bob Ross

Bob Ross original

Bob Ross was a well known american painter who was famous for painting landscapes using oil paints. Teams that get this penalty must put on the Bob Ross wig and paint a serene landscape from the Paint with Bob Ross book on the hood of their car. This particular example was painted by #32 Superkak racing team.

Paint your whip with Bob Ross

Bart Simpson
Write your penaly on your car 100 times – “I will not pass under yellow” for example
Bart Simpson penalty

An E30 edition of this penalty requires that you write the penalty in German
Bart Simpson penalty in German

Barnyard
The Arc Angel attaches a metal farm animal or the “Move Over Dick” mirror to the offending car.
Arc Angel

Graffiti your Ride
You must graffiti your car with reasons why you wish you were driving a different marque. This particular example from the Crown Victoria of #60 Pleasant Valley Racers includes “I wish I was driving a Honda”, “Nascar Sux”, “Honda Rules” and even a Japanese flag on the roof.
04052009668
04052009672

Stay with Your Ride
If a team follows the judges around with too much whining the whole lot is duct taped to their car for the duration of their punishment.
Stay with your ride

The Pacifier
Drivers that whine at the judges have a baby bottle taped to their hand and must gnaw on a pacifier for the duration of their penalty.
04052009661

Close Shave – Shave your way out of it
Have a beard or a goatee? Shave your beard or goatee off – as soon as its gone you and your car can return to the track. No facial hair/. How about shaving the legs from the knees down?

Shaving facial hair to avoid a penalty – 24 Hours of Lemons from rnair on Vimeo.
04052009660

Why am I Upside-Down?
You’re upside-down because you have no business being out on a racetrack. If a car rolls at a Lemons race it is immediately done for the rest of the race. Unfortunately this is one rule that I am very familiar with :-(
FX16Flip-804px
Photo stolen from Jalopnik

Peoples Curse
And finally the ultimate Lemons penalty – utter devastation of the peoples curse car at the hands of the excavator. The second car in this video is from another team (#85?) which was sick of working on their car and asked Jay to crush it along with the peoples curse.

Peoples Curse – Lemons South Spring 2009 from rnair on Vimeo.

  • Share/Bookmark